Archive for September, 2012

K=DU MaGaZiNE

incorporating

R=DIO ALZ≡≡BRA

⫷⫸

presents

the mobile phone

the mobile phone

the mobile phone

the mobile phone

… everyone is making one and so we thought …

                             we just oughta’ ….

 its a high-level ‘state-of-the-art … mobile phone !!!

 …. it does everything …a telephone shud’ dooo !….

☏☏☏☏☏☏☏☏☏☏☏☏☏☏☏☏ ☏ 

this advert presented by Lapwing

▥▦▧▨▢▣▤

HeLLo!!!……

… there is R00M fOr another PhOne suREly zwEEpZ

aNd We WaNtS OUr sLicE oF maRKeT sHaRe !!!

Oh YeS!!! … tIme fOR tHe ‘K’ tO mAkE hIs mUnEEE!

THe ‘K’ is HeARtENeD

bY a Nu-TelEVisIon ShOw

zwEEpZ !

we Izz ALL tiRed oF sAYiN

– ‘NuTHin oNT’ TeLLy  tOnITe

‘RigHt’ ? ~‘SerIOUsLy’ !

Jolyon Rubinstein and Heydon Prowse taking on Society and challenging the status quo ~ Satire Reborn

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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◐ tHe mmm’m’ MooN iS nOT eNUff ! … ◑

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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buT tHAT dIDNt WoRK NeiTHER’ …

thIs HuMOuR is N0T exactLY bELLy laUGhs ~ tHEy UzeD to Call iT

sATyRe

an’thass WhAt YoUze GeTs oN

tHe rEVOLutIOn WiLL bE TelEViSed

pLeASe D0N’t c0nFuSe wITh a SHoW FroM thE SiXTieS

wHen The RevOluTioN aCTuALLy bEGan : ~

“tHaT wAZ tHe wEEk tHaT wAZ”

DaVid FROsT

BeRNArD LeVin

LaNcE pERCiVal

mILLicENt mArtIn

pEtEr c00K

cLeeSE & ChAPMaN

RoALd DaHl

Th0Se wErE tHe DAyZe WhEN sATiRe sAiD

‘tHat We sTill CarEd eNoUGh tO COMMenT …’

WhEN pEEps GoT iNVoLveD ~ anD liSTenED tO whaT pEEps SaiD

PoliTIciANs / cELebS / SpOrtSmeN

tHey mADe £iFe stIll InTREStIng

eVEn SpITTInG iMAGe HiT yOu iN thE gUt!…

… OnE tIME

So TAKe A wATCH MY lOYAL zWEEPz

THesE bOYs Are HAVinG a GO…

HeAR mE  

To GET ouT oN thE sTreeT

lIKe THE rOYal K=DU

aNd cHALLEnGE

ThoSE wHo ARE tAKinG The  *+*+

Can The BoyS gEt nEw mEMbeRs fOR tHE sC0uTS on THe rIot sTreeTs Of LonDoNiA …

The Revolution Will Be Televised

WATCH on BBC 3 !!!

ApPEnDiX :

EXTRACT ON WIKIPAEDIA ENTRY : SATIRE

Social and psychological functions

Satire and irony in some cases have been regarded as the most effective source to understand a society, the oldest form of social study.[9] They provide the keenest insights into a group’s collective psyche, reveal its deepest values and tastes, and the society’s structures of power.[10][11] Some authors have regarded satire as superior to non-comic and non-artistic disciplines like history or anthropology.[9][12][13] In a prominent example from Ancient Greece, philosopher Plato, when asked by a friend for a book to understand Athenian society, referred him to the plays of Aristophanes.[14][15]

The state of political satire in a given country reflects the state of civil liberties and human rights. Under totalitarian regimes any criticism of a political system including satire is suppressed. A typical example is the Soviet Union where the dissidents, such as Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn and Andrei Sakharov were under strong pressure from the government. While satire of everyday life in the USSR was allowed, the most prominent satirist being Arkady Raikin, political satire existed in the form of anecdotes[16] that made fun of Soviet political leaders, especially Brezhnev, famous for his narrow-mindness and love for awards and decorations.

The REvoLUtIon WILL bE tELeVIsED …

WATCH IT >>>

K=DU iS tRUe SAtiRisT : PROOF !

The TrUe REvOluTioN WiLL NoT bE tELeVISeD !!!

LINK>>>MusT sEE tV ~ The RevOluTioN WiLL bE tELevISEd<<<LINK

JT pERsoN CAUgHT oN CamERa – HuSH

JT PeePs FOrCEd TO wEAR REd BOIlER sUITs wiTH aNAGRAM JT

SteNCILLEd ON tHEIR BREAST pOcKet anD NuMERo TweNTy-SiX oN tHEIr BaCkS

AnD tAttOeD oNtO thEir FOreHeaDs – 26 (TweNTy SiXXXX nOt sEx)

JT pEEpS tOLd TO wALK on The OThER sIDE oF The STrEEt wHERe TheREs LaVENdAR

JT pEEpS tO wASH tHEiR HAnDS iN thE LaVAtORy

AnD TO sIT uPSTAiRS oN RED bUSSES

OH NO!!! …

HaTReD HAs MaNY lEVelS ZwEEpZ ...

The 2UeSTiON iS – Is – Is THIs A lAUGHiNG mATTEr JuAn ???

NO tHIs IS nOT …

ANd NeiTHEr iS tHIs – HaRRy ~ HARI ???

(ThAtS MaTa HaRi tO yOu ZwEEpS … gEt iT?)

HahA hAHa .. RI

JuaN iZZ SpANiSH aNd HArI wAS dUTch FOr GOOOdNEss SAkES …

tHis PRObABlY bETTa PiC De La FeMMe FATaLe

OOh La La ……

BuT wAS sHe REAllY a SPy ?? … FOr THe … ???

CoNSPIraCY iS jUSt A tHEoRy …

HeRes A cLuE – YoU FiLL iN thE coLOURS

thEre SeeMS nOW tO bE CerTAIN DoUBtS aBoUt tHis …

… aND iS tHIs a TheORy YOU sUbScrIBe To ?!? …

tHIS Is A mAGaZIne LooKS lIKE i SHoULd SUBsCRIBe TO PHwAW !!! …

ANd HEreS FOnDa On NewSWeeK mAGaZINe wIth NO cLOThES oN – Was SHe A sPY zWeePz?

ThiS wAZ >>>> K=DU MaGaZiNE …

ThiS WAs > SAtIRE AT iTS WeRY WuRSt JoNAThAN …

fIsHiNg fOr w/banKERs – £5 nOtEs n0T smAll CHanGe tO tHEESe gReeDy W\BaNkeRs

SaDLy THe 1St sERIeS hAS fINiSHeD – BIg HANd To thE BBc3 fOr GIvINg THE bOYs ThiS ChaNcE

tO sHakE a FiSt aT qUitE a Few dOdgY bITs aBouT UK lIfe = cAN’T wAIt fOR 2Nd SERiEs …

And Now it Has arrived !!!!

SliGhtLy ouT of FocUs SnAp OF mY chRIsTmaS dO … MRs ‘K’ dOne RAre Job WitH hoUse – iT lOOks bOOtiFul!!!…

 

KuDU iZ gEttInG seAsoNAl ZweePz SinGinG … ‘HavE yOUrsELf …’ ANd eVEn THouGHt ABouT a TRiP tO iCelANds OR SOmeWhERe ICy CoLD lIKe … … IcELanD ??? … bUt TheN DecIDed ThEre WerE MaTteRs ReQuIRinG My ATTeNTioN at HOmeS WiTHOut GalAVanTINg Off OvERsEas … ShAMeZ mR bLaiR dIDnT ThInk Ov ThiS DuRING hIS WAnDerInG DaZE, aS wIth MOnSiEUr CAmER-oN wHO dECIdEs tO cLeaR Off oVersEas WhEN thERe wAz TRouBLeS hEre At HomE wHEN tHemz KIdZ WAz RIOutOus … aN ‘IndISciPliNEd …

Our PolITiCIaNZ sHoULd CarE fOR tHEIrZ pEEpZ LikE GreAt stATesMen OF OlD – liKE BenJAmin DiSRaEli, AnEurI BevAN, WiLLiaM GlADStoNe, WinSTon ChuRChiLL, mAYbE JohN sMIth… Dun U thINK zWeEPz? … Well AnYWazE K=DU dECiDEs – HoW Can I DraW atTEnTIon TO SOmeTHinG reLevANt ANd OF sOCIaL ConCERnS … WelL i Waz ThiNKinG I mIGht GET aNImAL pERsPecTIvES on ThiNGS cHRIsTMaSSyLikE MaYBe sPeaKs wITh A dONkEY aNd THeiR vIEw oF thE cHRsTiaN NatIViTY and WhAT iT mEAnS TO AnImaLz liKe oxEN, aSsES & lAMbS  OR mAYbE i SHoUlD VisIt SomE NoRFolK TuRkEReYs aNd gEt TheIR vUes oF ChrIstMas … bUt THENz I waS thINKinS thE  ‘K’  iZz uSuALLy lIKing  ThiNGz A lITTle MorE lEftFieLD, ALtERNAtoiVe, OfF-The-WaLLs zWeePz! bIt COntROveRSiAL … AnD … SoZe I jOurnEYed To mIsTEr MattHEw BerNArdS OsTRICh FARm sOMewhERe nEAr BEAcONsFiELd iN BuckINgHAmShiRE iN LonDOn’s GreeNBelT …  

OsTriCh FaRms woZ ALl thE raGe In BRiTAiN fUe YeaRs BAk bUt JuSS reCEntLy NoT sO sURe – AnYWazE wHilST I wAS vIsiTIng MaTTHeW bERNaRds hOme I hAPPeneD UpoN ‘PaTHfINdeRS’ oSTericH fARm soMewhEre iN CheSHam WhiCh iZZ onLy 7 mile FRoM BeacOnsfIEld – ThiS izZ A real cOin-ciD-EnTal ZweePz ~ tO me ANywAze – LiKe a SigN thaT ‘K’ iS On riGHt trACk … wIth His JOurnAliStiC InVesTigATioNs!

( … OSTRICH FARMING: – A REVIEW AND FEASIBILITY STUDY OF OPPORTUNITIES IN THE EU It is believed that the UK ostrich population currently stands at 10,000-12,000 birds in total, including about 2,000 breeding females. Clearly the introduction of a separate June Agricultural Census category might be helpful in determining numbers of birds on holdings. )

OstEricH mEat iS MenT tO bE oK gUBba – Low In COleSToROl anD bETter FoR YouZe thAN OthER mEAtS lIKE BeeF sTEAks, PorK  aNd SUcHliKe =  WelL  K=DU reMeMBerS thAT iN SOutH AFriCA tHEy hAVe TheSE fARmS … InFActO ZwEEpZ ThAss WheRe OsTeriCh FarMs ALL sTArtEd  oUt – In RSA !!! … aNd nOt ManY pEePs No That ~ BOm BooM ~ CoURse LoTS oF My FRennS LivIng iN RSA toO as K=DU aRe prEtty extENsivE thROughOUt ARF.R.I.K.A.A … bUt U NuE THat NA’ DiN-U ZwEepZ?!?! …

Now If We WERe INto NAmInG aND shaMIng TheN ToDD DuN pREttY GooD jOB FoR hIMseLF As ALL THESE deTAilS fOLLowiNg >>> WerE rECORdeD By TOdd on The WEbS PagE – ‘THe HuntER rEPort’ – A nEWslETTer SERvinG The HUNteR WHO tRAVELSAPPaRANTLY TOdd GEts REAl ExcITed BouT KillING tHINgs … One GOOd THIng THIS O’ sO sAD piCTUre DOEs SHoW ~ IS hOW HuGE uS K=DU’s aRE – uP aGinST Hu=MANs ZweePz – We IZZ nORmALLy PRouD aNd ResPEKtFUl KrEATuRES zWeePErZ ~ WHEn We IZZ nOT dEAd! …

Hunter:Todd Dunaway  Species:Kudu  Date Taken:July 25, 2010  Taken:RSAMeasurement:49 inches  Outfitter   Company:Africa Maximum Safaris  Guide/PH:Jacques SenekalOutfitter Tel:011 27 71 579 4850Outfitter Website : www.africamaximum.com Outfitter E-mail: info@africamaximum.com..

ANyWAzE wE weRz TAlKinG HAppIer ThiNGS ZweePz WhaT WIth CHrISSmASS An ALL … An all … WhENz Sum OF uS dO thINkS aBOUt THe ChrISt~MAs SToRY wHicH eWe-z00-a-LLy FeaTUreS aNimALZ WhICh I thINk IsS a REsULt OF thE rePorTOf THE bIRTH oF jESUS As fOUnd IN thE bIbLE BOOk oF LukE – WHo WAs A PHYSICiAn ANd tHerEFoRe PRoNE tO rECoRDiNG iMpoRTAnT dETaiLs … In His GoSPEl He STatES tHAT thE BabY JeSuS wAs LaiD iN a ManGEr – WHiCH iS AniMALz FeEder TraY AnD sO pEEpS hAVe SOrt OF ImaGinEd ThaT aLL thE BriTisH FarM-sTOcK anImaLz WEre LikE GaTheRed ROunD – wHen TheM SHePheRDs aNd WiSE-Men CAMe A’ CallINg .. I’M thINkiN JoSEPh MaY nOt hAVe wANteD smELLy ANimALz hANGinG RouND bAby JeSUS THo zWeePz! … ARe yOU lEaviN yoUR thOUGhtS dOwn BEloW zWeePz ??? plEazE dOO …

~ CouRSe JosEPh, He WOulDN’t HAVe MinDed KuDu’S bEin’ TherE bUt I’m NoT sURe We EVer MadE iT tO bETHlEheM ZweePz – NO, DUn ThaNk WE DuD eVer?!?

øøø

When Mary bore Jesus, twas’ in a cow stall,

With wise men and shepherds and animals and all,

And high from God’s heaven a star’s light did fall,

and the promise of ages it then did recall,

(3rd verse – I wonder as I wander … trad.)

Is’POse ToDAzE – K=DU ‘s FeeLinGZ R’ sTRaIGht Up FOr AnIMAlZ ~ wHat WiTH OstERiCH, aN TuRKey KillED fOR thEIr mEAt aNd BuLL KuDu, mY fRENnS JusS kILL’d foR TheIr tROphY hORNs – But the ‘K’ Izz JuST tALkiN REsPEKt … zweepz R.e.Z.Pe.C.T

.

Iff wE iZZ lIViN in CREatED W0RlD ??? …  thEN aLL LivINg THINGs MuSS DeseRVe @LeaST=thAt YeSSir/Mad-AM ~ DoNE jUSS ‘BAnG IT’MisTa’ ~ U sEEn ‘THe DeeRHunTEr’ ~ Cos ThaT sAYS iT aLL … aNd hE wAZ so bEAUUUTTIFUL ! So WAZ mY fREnN!… B4 Tod hAS hIS pICtuRE TAkEn Wiv’ Im …

Hu’mANs HavE JusT lOST  thEIR sEnsITivITy …

JJ CALE sIngIng ‘The SenSItIVe KInd’ – ThiS a beaUtifUl sOng ` GoTta Look AftER yEr Wo=Man zWeePeRz

AnYWazE I lEArnEd QuITe A lOts BouT oStEricHeS anD dEcIdED tHeY waZ biT pRejUDicEd AgAiNsT & I WoULd LIke To InvIte a FamILy oF oSterICh To mY cHRIstMas Do aLonG WiTh aNothER fRENN WhO iZZ WiLD aSs … So I hAd’Em ovEr aN’ we DuN thIS PHoTo sHooT U cAn sEe At The vEry Top oF tHiS pOst …

NiKolAsS iZZ reAllY a FinE soRta ANImaL …  lIKe NUn iHavE mETZ B4 An He PUt FORwaRd GooD aRguMEnt AS tO th IMpoRTAnCE of THe ChrIStmAsS StOrY … We HAD lIKE qUITe AN iNteLLecTUaL deBATEz – I SAiD ‘HeY, ‘tHis IZz AlMOwST LikE bEinG iN The ChuRCH oF ENgLAND’ – wIth DiFFreNT SoRTs OF aNIMAlZ cHucKinG in THeiR 4 drACmaS WoRTH … BuT NikOLAsS His POinT WEnT SomETHinG likE THIS –  

“EEEeee-HaaaaaaWWWW!!! – WelL, it doesn’t really matter if there were no domestic animals at the Christs birth place or not. What matters is that if Jesus truly was the Son of God, born into a poor family of refugees or immigrants this tells us so much about the true personality, purpose and power of God …” NikOLAsS  SAY mY uNKlE OrYnXus COuLD hAVe HIS nOTes ON thE suBjEKt If He WANteD to DevELOp THem FuRTher FoR a SERmON …  CoS hE saID aLL hIS pOIntS bEGan WIth A ‘P’ AN thAT wAZ GooD He REcKon.  He ALsO rECCo SomEWhERez UnkLE coULd DOWNLoaD ‘4 StePS tO wrITinG a 3-PoinT SERMon’ whIcH waS DecENt OV Him …

You can download free 3 point sermon outlines and how to write a sermon outline with ease by clicking on

Free 3 Point Sermon Outline.

HoW tO mAKe COMPleTE h0RseS Ass oF yOURseLf

I aM LuVVin bRonZEd sCuLPtuREs AnD hEre Izz ONe I’fOunD  WhiCh IZz BeaUtiFUl … THEre IS oneTHIng wRONG witH Itt FOr Me Tho’ An ThaT iZz CasSiUS C…. oOh SOZzO zWeePz ~ MuHammEd ALI … AnD hE DoN’T eVen LoOks BlacK WhiCh IzZ NoT GooD sEEinG aZ ALI cOunT hiMSelF sUCh AN iCOn OF thE ‘FreeDOM of BlaCk pEEps MoVEMenT. ThiS arTIST Dun TuRNEd ALi iNto Sum WHiTE bOY – AHEm

MuhAmmED Ali ...

SuMz PeePz MAy Be ThiNKin – °°°° ° °  °   ° WhEre IzZ aLL tHs GOiN an what izzie like ?? °°° °  °   °   ° YouZe MAy BE bIT lIKE mE zWEEpZ  IN tHIs !!! … BuT sOme Of USs AnTelOPEz Are lIke gOAtS aNd Sum GoAtS aRe lIKe uSs      anTEloPEs … We lIKE tO rUTt … THaSS wOt WE maLe AnTs dOozE … thATs jUst STreEt FIghTIng zWeePz … We iZz pUgiLISTs … BoxERs/ WreSTlErs/ fIghTERs … HarD tO thINK oF uZZ lIKE thIS i KNow … cOs We LOOks So pEACefUl, RegAl & SerENe … BuT iT’S FemALes ThaT DO iT To Us K=DU’s ZwEEpZ .. We fIGht TO wIn The LAdiEs … To BE PoPulAr, To BE thE N0.1 .. In The GRouP … THaSS Y I aInt No ChAUviNistIC bUt LADY fIghTErs DuNN rEAllY hAV IT 4 Me ZweePerZ ~ HOw cAN We evER hAVe LadY fiGHterS wHo iZZ likE rOCky MarCIAn0 … sUgaR RaY LEAnARd … eZZarD cHArlEs … WiLLie Pep … BennY lEoNARd .. ChaRLey BUrlEY … MUhaMMed ALi … RobErto DurAN … suGar Ray RobinSon … ( ‘SlAterS’ 10 gREatESt FighTERs’ ZweePz … ) …


 .. No, NO. SoZ swEEt lADiEZzz = PugIllISts … fIghTErz U iz NOt! … THey Izz Men – EnD oF! … It’s ONly MaLES wHo RUtT ... ConSUlt NAtURe … U wULd No IF yOU RegULAr ReaDEr Of K=DU thAT He aINt No wOMen HatER aNd aS faR aZZ rACiALLy iNTEgrATed … K=DU iZZ HomE rUN, LevEL-HEadED, NEW aGe, UNiveRsaL HiPPy FreEDom RIDer – K=DU sAY thEre IzZ a LOt WE cAn lEArn FROM nATurE = BuT naTurE wiLL noT NecESSarILy  GivE yoU FaitH … FaITh Izz The GifT oF GoD … JeSUs Had FAITh ~ FaiTh THAt wHEn HIs BoDY wAS bEATEn … eVEn cRuCIFiED, THAT JEhoVaH WAs ABLE To RessuRecT hIm Cos He AloNE hAD dUn n0tHinG wRonG … The mAn dIed, BuT GoD rAISEd tHaT mAn fROm The dEAd … I lEArNEd tHIs FroM mY uNKle ORyNXus Who IS a GREat MAn OF F.a.I.T.h … All Mens & Wo-MenS We mIght Say – aRe bORn TO dIe ~ i.e. You are DyINg frOm The DAZe U R BoRN zwEEpz buT FoR JesUS cHRisT so mUch THe More S00oo … ThaTs WhY He wAs A mAN oF SoRROWs … K?

<< Isaiah 53 >>  ~  American King James Version


Who has believed our report? and to whom is the arm of the LORD revealed?

For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he has no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him.

He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Surely he has borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was on him; and with his stripes we are healed

AlI/FraZiER ~ thE grEATesTAND sO To BOxiNG daY … thEre IS nO dOubT BOxINg IS a NoblE sPort, An ARt !! ~ The SpoRT of gENtlEMEn aNd SomEThinG thAT aNTeLopES lIKe K=DU cAn RElaTe tO moRe thAN sUm HumAN eXCHanGE … Yes, At THe tIMe oF thE ruTT – We aLsOw iZZ pUGGilISTS, aND fIGhtErs … Well ZwEEpZ sUM maY bE wOnDErinG as THey IZz WandERing oUT UndER thE SkY hoW tHIs FiTS wITh OUR cHriStmAsSy tHEMe AN’ CoURSe K=DU iZz nOt GoNNa Say It IZ aLL tO dO wItH ‘BoXinG dAY’ NoSSiR tHo’ THAt WOULD bE quiTE fUnnY ~ It iZ tO dO wITh HOw JeSuS lAId dOWn HIs LifE – SubMittED tO deATh – He APpeARed TO loSE thE fiGHt iN tRUsT… tHIs WAz nOT pACifISm zWeePz – ThiS Waz f.A.i.T.H – You NEEd tO gET IntO cHUrCH tO Get ALL thE FACTS mY loYAL zWEEpZ – ThiS IzZ Not ReliGIouS TraCT oR gOSpEL lEafLEt eITher … IT iZZ K=DU’s iNTREstiNG aRTs PAGe ThaSS ALL ..

ThiS Hs BEEn A rOYaL K=DU SpECiAL R=PoRT oN cHRiSTMas WhICH iS kINdA DiFFIcULt FOr A STREeTWiSe ‘K’  TOdOO ~ tHAnX foR LIsTenINg

” … the Night MY World Crumbled,

                                                                 … Doctor Melfi.” 

So funny the way Tony Soprano strikes a chord with many men the world over … who would secretly like to  be able to afford to ‘snook’ away to their personal Lorraine Bracco … very sexy lady … pour out their troubles and return to a life of personal freedom … not freedom persé you understand or even an autonomous freedom … but the raw, brutal, freedom of ‘gangster’ rules …

… As a young teenager I cottoned on to the appeal of the ‘gangster’ no doubt enhanced  by images that I saw when a small group of us fourteen year olds tricked the cashier at the local Odeon Cinema into allowing us to view the XXX rated ‘Bonnie and Clyde’ where Faye Dunnaway became my first erotic daydream and Warren Beatty waved his gun and grinned at all authority much like the James Cagney characters had done in those great black and whiteys I had seen on telly …

Frank Nitti

At sixteen I visited a Newspaper Press – Photo Agency in Curzon Street, off Fleet Street and brought photos of my adolescent heroes – Bugs Moran , Frank Nitti, Legs Diamond, Al Capone – I hung them on my wall much to my mums concern – but she never said a word … (more on that to follow) Gangster life certainly does have an appeal to men of all ages and the cinema box office is testament to that … like it or leave it!

Tony follows a strange moral and even ethical code which sees the ‘family’ apparently centre stage and loyalty, honour and submission to the pyramid order of the ‘chapter’ fundamental and yet he is not above ‘rubbing out’ family members who don’t toe the line or cheating on his wife with the first available, attractive woman who catches his eye or even taking a ‘blow job’ from a member of staff in the back room of his pole dancing bar in downtown New York …

Tony Soprano, despite his many heinous crimes is consistently ‘assertive’, not only in his ruling of the Mafia ‘family’ of which he is the ‘father’ but in his justification of the life, living and decisions he makes. He is self-righteous to a level that would make most right-wing fundamentalists blanch.

Tony would take his ‘shrink’ too if her professional etiquette allowed it and those legs ?!?!? … well their worth the fee on their own to Tony ...

… Nothing shocks Doctor Jennifer Melfi, Lorraine Bracco’s character in the Sopranos – she understands it all, receives it all and consistently reasons with Tony  … all the crap. the violence, the rub-outs, the unfaithfulness, the whole ‘family’ thing,  the passes Tony makes at her, even the enforced embrace that he has tried once or thrice …

 – Jennifer is the ultimate professional and that is why Tony keeps returning to her office and her ‘couch’ despite his many protestations and his sometimes abusive claims that she doesn’t really help him at all …

… To Tony she represents the future ~ the ‘new’ confessional, for a new age … and she duly continues to ‘help’ her client with his traumas, to unearth and ‘heal’ his hurts, rationalize past dilemmas, soothe his latest angst, helps him ‘focus’ on future deliberations … for she gives Tony real, specific and up.to.date wisdom, mental clarity and freedom to think … his own personal space … which is the new lust of the 21st Century that all any of us understand we need in the hurly-burly of life today … a commodity they would wrap or bottle like water if they could …

… but Tony gets his from his true confidant : the fully beautiful Dr. Jennifer …

In many ways Doctor Jennifer is subliminally – running the whole damn show … she is fueling the general of Tony’s particular chapter, founded on the ancient order of Rome … she becomes in many ways almost a Mafia ‘Godmother’ or perhaps ‘God-Person’ … surely she is at least, a kind of ‘new age’ Sopranos’ consigliere ~ the equivalent of the Tom Hagen character in the Godfather films.

I HAVE TO ADMIT I HAVE A MASSIVE CRUSH ON LORRAINE BRACCO BUT WHAT MAN WOULDNT ?

Her Sopranos’ character ~ Doctor Jennifer and her psychoanalytic training give her female mind a rare understanding of the male psyche to which she assents more respect than is usual among her gender and she shows a consistently non-judgmental approach to all of Tony’s fettered attempts to unburden his soul, giving to her character an almost redemptive and spiritual quality which boasts an unstated yet almost saintly, unconditional love … 

… this all presupposes to Tony’s subconscious a possibly latent, sexually charged tension which both fascinates and teases Tony, tempting him to conclude that Doctor Jennifer is not purely following the tracks of her professional integrity but actually is a slave to a more basic and animalistic attraction …. despite consistently rejecting tony’s advances Jennifer herself is forced to question her own libido after an erotic dream where she and Tony finally do ‘get it on’ …

Doctor Melfi, the sexy shrink who helps with Tony’s troubles … is forced to question whether, after all and despite both her higher intellect and education that in fact the ‘gangster’ life and Tony’s ‘ like it, take it ‘ modem is the more desirable life … she hates that she is attracted to Tony … with so many reasons that would reasonably deter her …

… the object of this piece is not to evaluate the beautiful Lorraine Bracco but more the idea of employing such an agreeable therapist … I wonder if I were an ‘Englishman in New York’ where I would seek out the wonderful Doctor Jennifer Melfi to calm my troubled brow and present to her the wounds of my childhood and adolescence … I am indeed forever an angst-ridden ‘ado’, a victim of my sixties trauma and the night my world crumbled …

… that sixties implosion which turned our world upside down … those and ‘us’ children, both ‘refugee’ and ‘adopted’ of the ‘war-generation’ still wearing flannel shorts or navy blue knickers … the adoption of change now glistening … for we in those timeless days, quite literally ‘floated’ above the still blood-brown, stained landscape of post-war Britain and the whole traumatized western world where entrenched values so borrowed and horded from a different day were suddenly atomised by the psychedelic grenade of that ‘moral revolution’, a phrase I now coin …

Lorraine, JENNIFER ~ reminds me of my mother, something I suppose all the women I have been attracted to do … true mothers stabilise you, especially if you are a man … a good mother teaches you respect for women … not by words but by example … how could you not respect this woman … your wife … your girlfriend … all the women you meet … women in general!

My mother put up with so much crap from me and yet remained supportive of me throughout my turbulent adolescence with its many excesses and trauma … she was there ‘the night my world crumbled’ ~ she was the one who was left behind … but she stuck … she stayed and she loved me … cared for me and endured … she instilled in me a ‘feeling’ for what is right … she was a true woman … her beauty was real but more than just ‘skin deep’.

… mmmmmm this is a beautiful woman … this is the scent of the kind of woman I adore … why deny it … why be ashamed or shy away from it … intelligent, assertive but oh so feminine!!! …

Lorraine Bracco at age thirty six! …

Older but nothing has changed … this woman is all woman … and before my honest appreciation of Lorraine Bracco drifts from pure, mere infatuation, futile and bereft to the bottom of another Blog queue I will attempt to wax lyrical and give substance to my bones … the Sopranos is a brilliant piece – no, I am not trying to drive you on to Amazon.com to pick up a bargain box-set and a little backhander for me … I am trying to say that the producers, directors, screenwriters and actors have ‘hit’ on a delicious drama with some superb characterisations that maybe they never even half realised themselves and which despite its already enormous and cult popularity has in many ways still to be really ‘seen’ or recognised by the world who wait and watch  …

… WARNING : that said – SOPRANOS is NOT for the faint hearted nor in any way complimentary of the so called ‘Mafia’ practises and lifestyle which it represents at times as wholly callous, heartless and plainly psychotic ~ it should not be forgotten however that it is only a TV Drama – A Series like ‘Dallas’ or ‘Gunsmoke’ and does not necessarily represent most Italian-Americans fairly or honestly …

… I suppose the Sopranos represents the ultimate male ‘soap’, providing as it does a commentary on the worst side of us all … us men that is … Tony Soprano you are a disgrace but secretly we admire your honesty, your commitment, your resolve to get the job done … even when it’s gruesome … but Tony Soprano, despite having the most amazingly fiery, strong and supportive wife and life partner …  what we most covet are those amazing, soul cleansing trips to see the wonderful Doctor Jennifer Melfi ….

Appendix :

Tom Hagen – Family solicitor and the Corleone concierge

WARNING : EXPLICIT LANGUAGE

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